gods and prophets - part II
brother charity stood in the middle of the candle lit circle. he took a deep breath and waved the ceremonial preists to move the huge roasted pig onto the altar, an almost invisible cloud begins to appear. brother charity signalled the ceremonial priests to leave the room.
the cloud is clearly visible now, its beginning to take on different shapes, brother charity found some of the shapes rather amusing, especially one of the shapes looked like someone enjoying a rather large roast pig immensely.
" ahem.... "
brother coughed politely when it seem like the cloud shapes have finished with the roast pig and looked like is having a smoke.....
"yes?"
the cloud replied
"oh mighty and gracious god of my ancestors, i am ur humblest servant........."
"err.... actually... "
the cloud interrupted brother charity and sounds slightly embarassed
"yes?"
brother charity wasn't expecting this but nevertheless he managed to shown the face of a very humble and confused servant
"i'm actually the god of next sand patch... ahem... u see... aha, you'll probably find it funny, but my mate i.e. your god, i made a deal with him, i can have this sacrifice in exchange for the front row seat in the epic battle between evil barbaric nomad of sand patch # 3 and the valiant and heroic sand dweller of sand patch # 22, its goin to be fight to the end ! till both sides run out of weapons and rocks ! until the heroes triumph. there is goin to be drama ! heroism ! and probably romance involving ladies of sand patch # 4 ......" the cloud realized it was getting a bit too animated for a priest "but lo and behold !! thy god is worthy of praise and sacrifce. be steadfast in your faith and thy shall be well rewarded !"
and the cloud disappeared leaving brother charity looking bewildered, he stood there quietly while mentally replaying what just happend.
while brother charity is slightly dis-oriented another cloud is forming in front of the altar.
"lo and behold ! i am the god of your ancestor, your protector and shepherd, i will deliver vengeance on the wicked and rewards that which is good to my eyes...."
"er... excuse me, mighty and holy spirit"brother charity looked slightly suspicious, "but how do i know you ARE really the god of MY ancestors?"
the cloud was silent for a moment and then replied
"well, this can go either way boy, i could smite you with thunderbolt right now to make damn sure, or you can just take my word for it, so tell me wats it gonna be?"
"the holy and mighty spirit, the god of my ancestors... i am your most humble servant" brother charity replied radiating with reverence.
"holy spirit, i came on behalf of my people, as you can see we are having some trouble with the animal stock this year, and the crops isn't producing as much compared to the previous years.."
"hmm... have you looked in your midst for any un-godly behaviour?"
"yes, my god, we have been particularly strict in that department."
" i see, you have covered your basis there" the cloud replied
" and also i was wondering if i could re-negotiate some of the old testament we agreed upon in the year of burning albatross" brother charity made a daring effort
"we'll i'm not a un-reasonable god, you may speak, my humble servant"
"we would like to have a discount on famine and plague, while reducing some of the exisiting sacrifice arrangements and re-define a few commandments" brother charity choosed his words as carefully as some one watching a baby taking a first step.
"hmmm.. i am willing to grant u a discount on famine and plague, and while reducing the sacrifice is not particularly pleasant in itself but i'm willing to grant it due to the current state of the population" the cloud replied " BUT, CHANGING commandments, hmmm you are treading on thin grounds here, which commandments you wish to re-discuss?"
"well, you see, holy spirit," brother charity looked rather relieved as the seemingly harder part of the negotiation has gone through rather smoothly, " some of the priest is un-satisfied with the current state of the respect from the masses, and for oath breakers, can we change punishment from sermon session to stonning?"
"aha, actually stonning is a no go area, you will have to stick with sermon sessions, and with regards to respect from the masses, what have you got in mind?"
"some of the priest was suggesting maybe we can get an monthly thunderbolt allowance?"
"ha! that is also a no go area, you have any idea how much those things costs? that would be an extra roast pig per priest per month for thunderbolt allowance" the cloud replied "plus, you wouldn't want that many thunderbolt, its not as cracked up as it use to be." the cloud trying to use small talk to cheer up a slightly depressed brother charity.
"maybe we can have the excess thunderbolt on credit?" brother charity made a half hearted suggestion
"absolutely not! all credits expire after a month, there will be no roll-over for un-used credits. and plus thunderbolts are specificly forbidden for use on dart boards in the priest quarters. its in the don'ts of the user manual."
"oh...."
"well, if there is nothing else, i call this meeting ajourned. now somebody better clean this mess up, or else some one might need a rubber shoes allowance, if u know what i mean, ahaha, just kidding, but no seriously" with that, the cloud disappeared with thundering noise.
the cloud is clearly visible now, its beginning to take on different shapes, brother charity found some of the shapes rather amusing, especially one of the shapes looked like someone enjoying a rather large roast pig immensely.
" ahem.... "
brother coughed politely when it seem like the cloud shapes have finished with the roast pig and looked like is having a smoke.....
"yes?"
the cloud replied
"oh mighty and gracious god of my ancestors, i am ur humblest servant........."
"err.... actually... "
the cloud interrupted brother charity and sounds slightly embarassed
"yes?"
brother charity wasn't expecting this but nevertheless he managed to shown the face of a very humble and confused servant
"i'm actually the god of next sand patch... ahem... u see... aha, you'll probably find it funny, but my mate i.e. your god, i made a deal with him, i can have this sacrifice in exchange for the front row seat in the epic battle between evil barbaric nomad of sand patch # 3 and the valiant and heroic sand dweller of sand patch # 22, its goin to be fight to the end ! till both sides run out of weapons and rocks ! until the heroes triumph. there is goin to be drama ! heroism ! and probably romance involving ladies of sand patch # 4 ......" the cloud realized it was getting a bit too animated for a priest "but lo and behold !! thy god is worthy of praise and sacrifce. be steadfast in your faith and thy shall be well rewarded !"
and the cloud disappeared leaving brother charity looking bewildered, he stood there quietly while mentally replaying what just happend.
while brother charity is slightly dis-oriented another cloud is forming in front of the altar.
"lo and behold ! i am the god of your ancestor, your protector and shepherd, i will deliver vengeance on the wicked and rewards that which is good to my eyes...."
"er... excuse me, mighty and holy spirit"brother charity looked slightly suspicious, "but how do i know you ARE really the god of MY ancestors?"
the cloud was silent for a moment and then replied
"well, this can go either way boy, i could smite you with thunderbolt right now to make damn sure, or you can just take my word for it, so tell me wats it gonna be?"
"the holy and mighty spirit, the god of my ancestors... i am your most humble servant" brother charity replied radiating with reverence.
"holy spirit, i came on behalf of my people, as you can see we are having some trouble with the animal stock this year, and the crops isn't producing as much compared to the previous years.."
"hmm... have you looked in your midst for any un-godly behaviour?"
"yes, my god, we have been particularly strict in that department."
" i see, you have covered your basis there" the cloud replied
" and also i was wondering if i could re-negotiate some of the old testament we agreed upon in the year of burning albatross" brother charity made a daring effort
"we'll i'm not a un-reasonable god, you may speak, my humble servant"
"we would like to have a discount on famine and plague, while reducing some of the exisiting sacrifice arrangements and re-define a few commandments" brother charity choosed his words as carefully as some one watching a baby taking a first step.
"hmmm.. i am willing to grant u a discount on famine and plague, and while reducing the sacrifice is not particularly pleasant in itself but i'm willing to grant it due to the current state of the population" the cloud replied " BUT, CHANGING commandments, hmmm you are treading on thin grounds here, which commandments you wish to re-discuss?"
"well, you see, holy spirit," brother charity looked rather relieved as the seemingly harder part of the negotiation has gone through rather smoothly, " some of the priest is un-satisfied with the current state of the respect from the masses, and for oath breakers, can we change punishment from sermon session to stonning?"
"aha, actually stonning is a no go area, you will have to stick with sermon sessions, and with regards to respect from the masses, what have you got in mind?"
"some of the priest was suggesting maybe we can get an monthly thunderbolt allowance?"
"ha! that is also a no go area, you have any idea how much those things costs? that would be an extra roast pig per priest per month for thunderbolt allowance" the cloud replied "plus, you wouldn't want that many thunderbolt, its not as cracked up as it use to be." the cloud trying to use small talk to cheer up a slightly depressed brother charity.
"maybe we can have the excess thunderbolt on credit?" brother charity made a half hearted suggestion
"absolutely not! all credits expire after a month, there will be no roll-over for un-used credits. and plus thunderbolts are specificly forbidden for use on dart boards in the priest quarters. its in the don'ts of the user manual."
"oh...."
"well, if there is nothing else, i call this meeting ajourned. now somebody better clean this mess up, or else some one might need a rubber shoes allowance, if u know what i mean, ahaha, just kidding, but no seriously" with that, the cloud disappeared with thundering noise.
posted by dodge at 8:46 PM
0 comments
