follow up
dis is really a follow up of my previous post. i was worried some1 might think my mom is a horrible mom, no she isn't, she is great, if anything i'm the bad son.
dis is important to me, my mom raised me all by herself, my dad left us when i was still a kid, we only got re-united when i was 8/9 years old when we went to the philippines (god, its a lot harder to write dis than i thought), i remember my mom bringing me to piano lessons, i remember the orange i had as a christmas present, hehe, and she told me if i didn't went for the afternoon nap, i wouldn't have gotten it. (its still kinda funny, just to think about it) i remember the time she got so mad at me when she found out i stole the cigarette of my grandad and smoked it wif my cousin, and they made me knee on the washing board, i remember how worried she was when i was hit by the motorbike, i remember how worried she was when i cut myself wif the scissor. she has always been a good mom like every other mom who really gave everything for their children.
the real trouble is that i think i've come to an age where i need to have a life of my own without my parents constantly telling me wat they think i should do, god i love my parents, i wish i can be rich enough to provide them wif a happy retirement, a condo somewhere, wit health care, a private nurse and everything, i love them but i just can't live with them, i don't know why, but i guess dis is how i am? but i felt guilty letting them know all dis, and thre is just no way i can let them know wat i think, because i can't explain dis feeling to them, they deserve every right to demand anything from me, i guess i'm being selfish, but i need to live my life, a life for the sake of life is meaningless. if i can't have my own dreams and life then my life is meaningless.
p.s. nobody do anything stupid like telling my parents wat i think, too many times ppl tried to do things for my "own good" and always ends up making it worse than it is.
dis is important to me, my mom raised me all by herself, my dad left us when i was still a kid, we only got re-united when i was 8/9 years old when we went to the philippines (god, its a lot harder to write dis than i thought), i remember my mom bringing me to piano lessons, i remember the orange i had as a christmas present, hehe, and she told me if i didn't went for the afternoon nap, i wouldn't have gotten it. (its still kinda funny, just to think about it) i remember the time she got so mad at me when she found out i stole the cigarette of my grandad and smoked it wif my cousin, and they made me knee on the washing board, i remember how worried she was when i was hit by the motorbike, i remember how worried she was when i cut myself wif the scissor. she has always been a good mom like every other mom who really gave everything for their children.
the real trouble is that i think i've come to an age where i need to have a life of my own without my parents constantly telling me wat they think i should do, god i love my parents, i wish i can be rich enough to provide them wif a happy retirement, a condo somewhere, wit health care, a private nurse and everything, i love them but i just can't live with them, i don't know why, but i guess dis is how i am? but i felt guilty letting them know all dis, and thre is just no way i can let them know wat i think, because i can't explain dis feeling to them, they deserve every right to demand anything from me, i guess i'm being selfish, but i need to live my life, a life for the sake of life is meaningless. if i can't have my own dreams and life then my life is meaningless.
p.s. nobody do anything stupid like telling my parents wat i think, too many times ppl tried to do things for my "own good" and always ends up making it worse than it is.
posted by dodge at 11:12 PM
2 Comments:
dont worry about having to explain yourself to anybody. as long as you know, that's good enough. =)
thanks, but i'm actually not as mushy as my writing. and its not so much dat i feel like i need to explain to anybody,i just feel like telling the whole story. since i've already started might as well finish it, u know wat i mean.
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